Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Partying with Rednecks, Y'all

I survived our cruise to the Redneck Riviera. I almost didn't think I would. Not because I get seasick (because it wasn't really a cruise on a boat, just a dinner for the old folks at church) and not because I don't love rednecks (I married the most handsome mullet man ever so of course I love him and his people) and not because I don't like eating at the buffet (which I actually abhor but this was a sit down dinner, no sidling up to the trough looking like a pig).

It's because I am not a party planner. I don't enjoy it. I'm not good at it. It stresses me out beyond words. I'd say I hate it but hate is such a strong word. I just really really don't like it.

The good thing about the redneck theme is that you don't have to have things looking super classy. Pretty much the opposite (no offense to any rednecks or their relatives who might be reading this).

Here's the table decor we came up with.

Fake flowers in old Coke bottles (that I found in my grandma's garage cupboards) sitting atop lovely paper doilies.

All different colored cheap plastic table cloths. A differnt color for each table. (I meant to spell that wrong. Say it out loud. Differnt.)

Mismatched napkins and plastic silverware. Plasticware?

Mason jars with straws.

And beans.

The beans were for the markers for the bingo game. Debra thought they'd look lovely as part of the decor too. I think she was right.

If we'd wanted to be super redneck klassy we would have decorated around the room with toilet seats and old tires. So little time, so many great ideas.

The menfolk looked mighty fine.

And these girls too. I love the Chevron shirt. It reads, "I have gas." Very redneck indeed.

Some of our lovely cruise guests (sounds nicer than calling them old folks). The lady on the left used to babysit my dad. She also remembers the day my grandpa came home from the war. She told me she was standing on the sidewalk watching up the road where he came walking from the bus stop. Isn't that pretty neato?

And that other lovely lady. She went to school with my dad. Same graduating class.

And this sweet gal is my neighbor. The neighbor I've told you about. I've got a special treat to give her on Friday before the football game.

Two lovebirds ready for a romantic cruise. Heehee.

They might kill me if they knew their picture was on the world wide web. Don't tell. Maybe they don't use the internet yet. That's my hope.

More cruisers willing to play along.

Instead of telling them to say cheese before I snapped their picture I told them to say Hee Haw! That's why their mouths look funny. It's not because they don't know how to smile.

You can look here and here and here for pictures of that handsome fellow when he was a kid. He was my dad's childhood friend and neighbor and my grandma took about a bazillion pictures of them together.

Here's a shot of me and my ladies. They did most of the work. I just showed up and looked purty. I think I could get used to having so much hair.

After the photos, Dan lead the group in a few rousing hands of bingo. We figured maybe that was something old folks do on cruises so it seemed appropriate.

They seemed to have fun. Here's a few of the prizes.

Genuine Louisiana Surprise chicken wing sauce and a lovely bottle of eau de toilette. Decorated with redneck ribbon (you know, shoelaces). Other prizes included cans of Vienna sausages and glamorous press on nails (red ones with white lacy detail, so klassy). I tried to find cans of spray cheese at the dollar store but to no avail. I think that would have made a good prize for redneck bingo. Maybe next time.

After bingo and dinner (bbq pork, potato salad and baked beans) the cruisers were treated to some live entertainment. What's a cruise without entertainment?

Those gals seated in the lawn chairs are the Soggy Bottom Spoon Sisters (named such because they're pros at playin' the spoons). Dan played the ukulele (not very redneck at all but he doesn't own a banjo) while we all sang a little bit of The Crawdad Song and Where, Oh Where are You Tonight?. Mostly we just sang the chorus to that one.

And Dan made the audience sing along too.

We took turns telling hee haw style jokes (that Dan wrote for us). The jug band performed a little rendition of Gloom, Despair and Agony on Me. We got to join in on the chorus. Such a treat.

I think the audience liked it.

I tell you what. I'm looking like quite the freak in most of the pictures on stage. I don't know what came over me. I just really got into it. I might have been singing the loudest (well, after Dan of course). I knew the youth would be reluctant to give it their all so I guess I was overcompensating. I don't know.

Maybe the big hair gave me a confidence I didn't know I possessed.

Maybe it was just my redneck roots oozing out of me.

It was fun.

I'm glad it's done.


arlene.haymond said...

Looks hilarious. What was it for? YW? I would copy, but, well, y'all know that's what most of my town actually looks like! ;)

You cracked me up - reminded me of something we had to do for work once. (With or without a bunch of glasses...)

Janell R. Cropper said...

May or may not have made my day with this post. That or the cute polka dot orange fabric I got in the mail today. :) You guys are awesome!

Tiffany said...

This is great! I love Lehi!

Chrisanne said...

You've made me even more homesick for our old ward! Looks like you guys had fun :) One of these days I really am going to drop by, I even wrote it in my appt book the last three weeks in a row... I have a star wars toy and a report on sand and baby powder I need to deliver ;)