a collection of miscellaneous or diverse items

him: Ewwwwww! What is that yucky thing?

me: It's called a parsnip.

him: Are we going to throw it away?

me: No. We're going to eat it.

him: Ewwwww. Me and Cate do NOT want any on our plate. We do NOT.

The picture is a bit disgusting. I admit it. In the parsnip's defense, I had it sitting in a plastic bag and I guess it's natural moisture got caught inside. Kind of made the stem part look slightly less than delightful. I chopped that part off, peeled the rest of it, diced it and threw it in the stew. It was rather tasty. And no, Danny and Cate did not have any on their plates.

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Two Mondays ago Auburn played Oregon in some big football game. I grew up in Auburn so of course I have to cheer on the Tigers. (And by "cheer on" I mean keep myself busy doing something else, check on the score every once in a while, and then stick around to watch the last 5 minutes.) That's my sister Jenny (she's a loyal fan) holding Cate (wearing the new cheerleader outfit Grama Bama gave her for Christmas).

There's been a little confusion amongst some people who read this blog as to Auburn's mascots. Dan gave a good explanation in the comment section of this post. Hopefully this makes things clear as mud.

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I'm trying to refrain from poop, booger and puke stories on here. I mostly just write them in the kids' journals for them to read some day. I've been writing in their journals since the day they were born. All the good stuff, like the day Danny's shriveled belly button nubby thing fell off (I don't know when Cate's fell off because she was still in the hospital and those nurses didn't tell me it had happened...and I was a little preoccupied with worrying about her eating and breathing on her own to notice).

I'm just going to share one booger story today because sometimes it's hard to resist. Danny was picking his nose. I told him to stop. His reply, "But it's hard to put the boogers back in there!" Do I really have to teach him everything? He couldn't just figure this one out on his own?

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Somebody's Google search using the key words oldsmobile square recipe led them to this blog. Amazing. I'm guessing they were looking for the neighbor treats I made at Christmas. I'll be making another variation for my Valentine's neighbor treats. I bought these the other day. I like nonpareils. They make me happy.

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The cashier at the grocery store this afternoon called me "Hun." I'm pretty sure I'm at least 10 years older than her. Maybe more. The only people who should be calling me "Hun" are old ladies or Dolly Parton. But I imagine that Dolly would call me Sugar (pronounced Shug-uh).

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This conversation makes me about as happy as the nonpareils.

her: You pretty, Mama.

me: Oh, thank you, Cate! You're pretty too.

her: Oh! Dank you!

It usually happens when we're driving in the car. And she starts it. I love it. She's a good kid who knows how to compliment her tired old mother.

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I was on the elliptical machine at the gym this week. A boy came in with his dad. The dad got on the elliptical in front of me, the kid got on the one beside me. The worker lady came in, doing her rounds, checking for illegal exercisers.

She asked the boy how old he was. He said, "Twelve." And then she said, "And you're here with...mom?" and then she pointed to ME! For a few seconds I was shocked and slightly offended. Sure, I am in dire need of some anti-wrinkle cream and a good long sit in the hair stylist's chair but really? The mother of a 12-year-old? My oldest just turned four. Then I remembered that I'm approaching my thirteenth anniversary of wedded bliss. A 12-year-old child in my family is possible.

The kid just shook his head and pointed to his dad and then the lady left. I was left thinking about what it would be like to have a 12-year-old. A kid old enough to put himself to bed and tie his own shoes. I can hardly imagine it.

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Cate walked into the front room last Friday night wearing some princess dress up clothes she'd gotten for Christmas. In her bedroom, all by herself, she had taken off her shirt, pulled on her purple tutu, purple slippers and put the tiara on her head backwards. Her belly was hanging over the top of the tutu. It was so unexpected and adorable that I almost shed a tear or two. As soon as I can figure out how to post pictures from my phone (somewhere other than facebook and a text message) I'll share. For now, I don't even know how to add a new phone number into my contacts list. This new "smart" phone is making me feel very dumb.

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Danny wants two moms. He says, "Like you and Daddy have." I try to tell him that Grama Bama is my mom and Grandma is Dan's mom. I guess he just sees the union of his parents as ONE and thinks that we have two moms. I don't know. Two moms might be nice. I could be the fun one. Let the other mom be the meanie.

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One year and 4 days after the start of Forty by Forty, I'm down 28.5 pounds. It pains me to look at that before picture. A few observations.

Number one: I thought I'd be happier if I lost weight. I was wrong. Lesson learned. Now I'd like to see if the whole "Money can't buy you happiness" thing is true or not. That should be a fun one. I'm accepting donations.

Number two: It's a lot more fun shopping for clothes now. I don't come home nearly as depressed as I used to.

Number three: Keeping the weight off is going to be about as much fun as it was taking it off.

Number four: I'd really like to lose another pound and a half. I like even numbers.

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Cate gives kisses on both cheeks nowadays. She's so European. She says MUH but does no puckering of her lips. When I give her kisses, she wipes them off. When she gives me kisses (on the cheeks, almost never on the lips), she tells me to not wipe them off. She's a silly kid.

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Danny keeps asking me if we can have a yard sale. He doesn't seem to understand that winter is not the time to hold such an event. I'm not sure where he heard about yard sales either. It certainly wasn't from me. I told him maybe we'd have one in the summer. I hope he forgets about it by then.

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I said the opening prayer in church last week. When I came back to our pew, Cate said (in a voice louder than a whisper), "Good job, Mommy! You get beans in you jar!"

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Danny gave a talk in primary last Sunday. When I first told him he'd be giving a talk, he told me that he was just going to say blah blah blah blah into the microphone. Lovely. We practiced Sunday morning and he cooperated and repeated everything I said. No blah blah blah blah. He did me proud.

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Cate took a nap on the bottom bunk in Danny's room yesterday. She woke up when she fell off the bed. She wasn't very happy about it.

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Danny asked me yesterday when we were going to babysit baby Raymond again. I asked him why and he said because he likes to make Raymond smile. It took him exactly 6 months to like that kid. When I took him to visit Sweet Baby Ray in the hospital just hours after his birth, he wouldn't even acknowledge the fact that they are cousins. He just flat out denied it. I'm just glad he's finally coming around.

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I made some more cakies this week. Danny likes to eat the batter. He asked for a dough ball. "One that's not transformed into a cookie."

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Danny went to a birthday party today. When he got home he pulled stuff out of his goodie bag to show me his loot. Balloons, Smarties, glow-in-the-dark stars, paper rocket ship, a bowl. The best part was when he pulled out some Hershey's kisses and said, "I don't know what these are." Clearly, I have not taught my child how to love chocolate. It's ok though because he said Dan and I could eat them. And then I ate them and didn't share with Dan.

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And finally (if you've even made it this far and are still awake), a little video of my kids expressing themselves through creative dance to the tune of Auburn's fight song. Enjoy!