Saturday, December 3, 2011

thoughts on cuddling

my cuddly baby, 17 days old

Danny came into my bed this morning whilst I was taking a break from washing dishes and picking up toys and scrubbing the kitchen floor (only because the young women were meeting at my house in a few hours and I hadn't scrubbed the floor in a very long time). He wanted to play a Lego game on my computer. I told him he could but he had to cuddle with me for a minute first.

He scooted over to me and wiggled his face into my chest area (mostly the vast open space between my you-know-what's). If I was a busty woman it would have been really awkward but since I'm not, I'm pretty sure he just got a face full of my ribs and sternum (I remember that from 4th grade when we had to name all 206 bones on a science test).

I backed away a little and asked him what he was doing (since that's not really what I have in mind when I think of cuddling). He told me that was cuddling. Huh? I have no idea where on earth he got that idea from. He's a crazy kid sometimes.

I instantly had a kind of flash forward to him sitting on the couch with his girlfriend (I don't like to think about such things but I know it might happen some day so I'm just trying to be prepared) and the movie starts and she tells him she wants to cuddle. I think I had better be teaching him proper cuddling form before that dreadful day or he's going to be in big trouble.

* * * * *

When I look at that picture up there I get all teary. I remember that day. I remember sitting in that big chair in the front room for what seemed like hour after hour after hour. Feed the baby, he falls asleep, be afraid to burp him because then he might wake up. I hardly ever burped him. I feel badly about that now but I guess I really should get over it already. Keep sitting there because if I get up and try to lay him down somewhere he'll probably wake up. If he wakes up he won't be sleeping anymore and then what will I do? Feed him? Burp him? I've got a burp rag on my shoulder so I guess I burped him and that's why his eyes are open.

I remember Dan taking that picture. I leaned my head back because I thought I looked fat and gross. I only wanted Danny in the picture because he was the cute one. I wish I hadn't leaned back now. I probably said something like, "Quick, Dan. Get the camera. Look how cute he's laying his face on his arm. But don't get me in the picture. I'm gross." I even remember that zit on my chin. It was there forever.

I remember that pillow with the reindeer pillowcase that Grandma gave me. I used that pillow instead of the silly Boppy pillow. I never did figure out how to use that Boppy when I was feeding him. It was great for helping him learn to sit up all by himself but lousy for everything else.

I was a mess. I'm glad Danny turned out as well as he did.

Even with his wonky ideas about cuddling.