to my future son-in-law

Make sure you buy a big bed.

I'm talking BIG.

Maybe even double BIG
(if you can find that size at your local mattress store).

The love of your life needs her space when she sleeps.

So much so that she might even kick you out of bed
(while she's sleeping, not because she's mad and wants you to go sleep on the couch).

She's done it before
(like to her daddy this weekend...he ended up on the floor).

She'll probably do it again.

Consider yourself warned.

She might even snuggle up into your arm pit and push you to the very edge
(of the bed and your sanity)
in further attempts to have the whole bed to herself
(like she did to her mother this weekend).

Oh, yeah. And she snores.

Have fun!

One more thing,

she might eat pop tarts in bed too.

Nobody around here has bothered to teach her that's not acceptable behavior.

Sorry about that.



And just in case my future daughter-in-law is reading this too...

same goes for you.

Except the snoring part.

This handsome guy grits his teeth instead.