Last night Dan finally told me what he wants for Christmas this year.
a little girl who knows how to walk
(like a good little seventeen-month-old)
and
a little boy who takes care of business on the potty
(like a good little three-year-old)
I know he thinks I'm amazing, but I'm no miracle worker.
I did find some possible gifts for him while I was browsing through the Sky Mall catalog on a recent flight.
(I was bored and the Harry Potter movie was not holding my attention.)
Here are the top contenders:
Dog Ate My Lesson Plan Shirt
because his junior high kids really don't respect him enough as it is
a little girl who knows how to walk
(like a good little seventeen-month-old)
and
a little boy who takes care of business on the potty
(like a good little three-year-old)
I know he thinks I'm amazing, but I'm no miracle worker.
I did find some possible gifts for him while I was browsing through the Sky Mall catalog on a recent flight.
(I was bored and the Harry Potter movie was not holding my attention.)
Here are the top contenders:
Dog Ate My Lesson Plan Shirt
because his junior high kids really don't respect him enough as it is
Rock Lampbecause you can't go wrong with a little mood lighting stuck on top of Appalachian stone
Lighted Candy Cane Arch
because I just know he wishes I would do more holiday decorating
Relaxing Magic Showerhead
because some people have to shower in the dark of the morning
Tranquil Sounds Oxygen Bar
because sometimes breathing regular old air just isn't very relaxing
Portable Microwave Ovenbecause his commute might be getting longer when the snow comes and he might get hungry
Forest Faces
because they're adorable and not the least bit creepy
Remote Controlled Tarantula
because who wouldn't want a remote controlled tarantula?
The Telekenetic Obstacle Course
because if anyone can harness the powers of his mind to move a little plastic ball, it's Dan
And while I'm at it, a little something for myself.
All this browsing around the Sky Mall got me thinking.Do you suppose they know they're in the business of selling expensive white elephant gifts?
C'mon, people. A Telekenetic Obstacle Course? Really?
Who is buying this stuff?
(besides me, of course)
If you'd like to do a little Christmas shopping at a much lower elevation,
and you didn't swipe the copy of the catalog from the pocket on the seat in front of you,
check out their website.
'Tis the season for white elephant gifts, right?
3 comments:
I totally want the lighted candy cane arch!
That would show Emo and Dean who's got the Christmas spirit.
Does the tranquil sounds oxygen bar prevent snoring? I may have to buy one for you to use!
I may actually like the shower heads. (This is mixing up blogs, but the shower head may make my top ten favorites from the cruise.)
It's going to take a lot more than the lighted candy cane arch to have more spirit than those two.
I do not snore. You do.
Do not!
Post a Comment