leaving on a jet plane

found it here and I want to buy it but I won't

That's my family.

I'm the armless blond mommy with the hourglass figure and gorgeous eyelashes.

That's obvious, right?

My 20 year high school reunion is our destination.

I'm using my last wrinkle treatment, turning my gray hairs brown and wishing I'd tried a little harder to shed a few pounds this summer. I didn't want to try too hard with that last one. I don't want to be totally unrecognizable to my classmates after all. I hope they appreciate that I kept these extra pounds on for their benefit.

I bought Cate some big honkin' hair bows so she'll fit right in with the rest of the southern belles when we get there. Well, at least the southern belles in the 3 and under crowd.

And I'm saying lots of prayers that my kids just snooze the flight away and keep themselves entertained during our 3 hour layover.

Just a few things I'm wondering about...

Do you clean your house before you leave on vacation? Especially the bathrooms. I do. Or do you just come home to a stinky, messy house with moldy toilets?

Should I bother to bring a book or two for myself to read on the plane (or the 3 day drive for our return trip home)? Am I crazy to think that there might be some point in time when both kids are asleep or otherwise occupied so I can read? I'm thinking skip the books. It's just wishful thinking.

Is it really so bad to slip your kids a little Benadryl so they'll chill out on the flight? I've never tried. Yet. Or do they make a child-appropriate version of NyQuil? Or Ambien?

How many times do you think Cate will ask "Are we there yet?" before we even get to the airport? She seems to enjoy that question and sometimes asks it before she's been buckled into her car seat.

Will my zucchini plant take over the entire backyard without me there to keep it in check? If any neighbors start missing pets or small children, I recommend they start their search there. That thing is ginormous.

* * * *

Dan thinks the 3 day drive home will be worse than the plane ride. I think he's wrong. I'm dreading the flight. I've flown with these kids before. I've waited in airports with them too. It's not pretty.

I'm excited for my kids to see the house I grew up in. It'll be there first time there, and quite possibly their last. We'll go up to my dad's office and let them see all his bug collections and maybe let them hold and pet a Madagascar hissing cockroach (if Grandpa still has them...cockroaches are indestructible and live forever, right?).

Hopefully we'll get lemonade at Toomer's corner (goodness knows it'll be hotter than blazes out and we'll be thirsty) and go see the elementary school where I lost a tooth while eating watermelon in kindergarten. And the junior high school where I got 100% on my bug collection (that's pretty much expected when your dad's an entomologist right?). And the high school where chemistry, physics and AP biology helped me realize that maybe being a brain surgeon wasn't a realistic goal for myself.

I'm thrilled to see my high school friends and hoping that someone else has more wrinkles and gray hairs than me. Really crossing my fingers for that one.

Of course the highlight of the trip could possibly be the three (or heaven help us, FOUR) day trip home. I'm really hoping for a stop or two for a roller coaster along the way. It'll do wonders for my sanity. I'm sure of it.

It's a good thing Grama Bama and Grandpa will be along for the ride. They can absorb some of the whining and crying and cries of ARE WE THERE YET?

And I'm not so sure all of that noise will be coming from the kids.

Wish us luck. We're gonna need it.