Sunday, September 27, 2009

they fit

Note To Self:

The next time a certain four-year-old nephew
has tears in his eyes
and says his nose really really hurts
because he stuck candy up there
(one piece in each nostril),
instead of freaking out a tiny bit because little streams of
greenish and pinkish nasal discharge
are coming out of those nostrils,
just have him keep on blowing
and blowing
and blowing
and blowing
until that candy finally comes flying out.
Just wait a little bit and let that candy dissolve.
Because it will.
Or at least it will get really slippery.
Don't call this four-year-old nephew's dad at work
because there's no way you can take him to the doctor yourself
(kind of hard to do with a two-year-old and a one-year-old in tow)
and you're worried because he says it really hurts
and he's crying
and he can't seem to get it out.
Just let that four-year-old nephew
keep on trying to blow his nose
or maybe figure out some way to get him to sneeze.
That should do it.
And no more candy...ever.

Note To a Certain Four-Year-Old Nephew:

The next time you stick candy up your nose
(one piece in each nostril)
and it really really hurts
and little streams of greenish and pinkish
nasal discharge are coming out of those nostrils,
don't tell your Ever-So-Patient Aunt that
her two-year-old son told you to do it.
Just stick with the real reason.
You wanted to see if they would fit.
Here's a note to your own little self:
They fit.
Don't ever try that again.

Note To That Two-Year-Old Son:

The next time a certain four-year-old cousin of yours
puts candy up his nose
(one piece in each nostril),
you don't need to do it too.
And even if you go ahead and do it anyway,
please, oh, please do not take that candy out
of your nose and then eat it.
Next time just eat it first and skip the whole
sticking-it-in-your-nose thing.

Note To The One-Year-Old:

Do not do anything you see those little boys do.
Especially when it involves

Note To The InstaCare Doctor:

Thanks for helping a certain four-year-old boy
blow his nose hard enough
to get the candy out.
I tried.
I think I loosened it for you though.
You do have that nifty little scope thingee to help you.
Thanks for not hurting that four-year-old nephew of mine.
He was really worried about it.
Thanks for sending enough suckers
so that four-year-old could share with his cousins.
Thanks for not sending him home with those silly
candy bracelets.
That kind of candy could get stuck somewhere
it doesn't belong.


Dan said...

Note to Self:
Read Cathy's blog every day.

Anonymous said...

Note to Self:
It's Autumn, it's autumn, the leaves are falling, the salsa is canning, the snow is coming! Where did I put my fuzzy socks and slippers? LOOOOOOVE IT! SOH \m/(>.<)\m/

Aloha_Misty said...

Did you end up taking Kris to the doctor with all the kids? How funny that all they made Kris do was blow his nose really hard! Oh man!

Cathy said...

Dave took him, Misty. Supposedly, all the doctor did was have him blow again. I think the candy might have dissolved a little so it was smaller. I don't know. I'm trying to forget about it. It wasn't the best experience...for me or for him.