buttering me up

my boy: Hey, Mama! Know what part of my family is the best?

me: What?

my boy: You!



How sweet, right?

OR

Is he just buttering me up so I'll buy him everything he wants for his birthday?


Like

this and this and every single Star Wars Lego set under the sun.


I'll choose the former mixed with a tiny bit of the latter.

{because everybody knows I am the best part of this family}

use the force and a rolling pin

As soon as I saw these Star Wars cookie cutters on Bakerella's blog, I knew I had to have them. Luckily, I have a wonderful sister-in-law that knew I had to have them too. Except she didn't give them to me directly. She gave them to Dan for his birthday (knowing darn well who would appreciate them the most...actually, Danny might appreciate them the most but I'm a very close second).

She emailed me and asked what I thought about them as a gift for Dan (since she knew darn well who would be doing all the work to get those Star Wars cookies baked and decorated). I quickly replied Yes! Get them! Wahoo! Yippee! I love them! I mean Dan would love them! (or something like that)


Yoda is my favorite. He always has been. He always will be. Have you ever seen such an adorable cookie? If E.T. was a cookie, he'd make it a tough competition. For now, Yoda wins.

Even without the frosting (since I have never frosted a cookie with all that piping and flooding and whatnot and I don't think I have the patience to figure it out at this point in my life and since Danny doesn't even care about frosting on cookies anyway), Yoda's the best.


I'm pretty sure the stormtrooper was Danny's favorite. I just love to hear him say stormtrooper because it comes out of his mouth sounding more like "bum poop-uh." It makes me chuckle every single time.


Darth Vader has never been so sweet.


I'm not even really sure where Boba Fett came from. Who is Boba Fett? Beats me. Danny acted like he'd never heard of him either and he's watched all the movies eighteen bajillion times.

Cate had a good time sitting on the counter bugging the crap out of me while I tried to roll out the cookies. She's got quick little fingers. I think she ate the equivalent of at least two cookies in raw dough. When I moved all the dough out of her reach, she just ate the flour instead. Gross.

Now I think I need to get one of these personalized aprons for Danny for his birthday. I'm not sure if I can wait that long though. I'm not even sure he'll still love Star Wars in six months. Who am I kidding? Those bum poop-uhs aren't going anywhere any time soon.

I'm also wondering if Dan would make me breakfast in bed if I bought him these pancake molds for Father's Day. It could happen. Probably not though, since I don't like pancakes and I really don't like eating in my bed.

I know for sure that I need to learn how to use royal icing for all that piping and flooding and whatnot on top of these cookies. Yoda needs some decoration. He needs to be green.

Thanks for Dan's birthday present, Cindy. Now I can add learn how to properly frost sugar cookies to my list of "Things I Don't Know How to Do but Really Wish I Had the Time and Patience to Learn."

potpourri

We took a little Memorial Day trip to the cemetery to visit my grandma and grandpa. It was yesterday so not technically on Memorial Day. Danny kept pointing to headstones and asking, "Who's under there?" Then I'd read the first name and he'd repeat it as a question and with a lot of emotion in his voice, as if every time it was such a surprise that What'sHisName was buried there.

Who's under there?
Henry.
En-weee? Who's under there?
Mary.
Ma-weee? Who's under there?
Stanley.
Dan-weee?

It's funny the first few times. After that, not so much.

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We took a little Memorial Day trip (actually on Memorial Day) to another cemetery with Aunt Nancy. I like this picture. It looks like Aunt Nancy should be saying, "Sweep here! Now! Sweep!"

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I've got some stuff to say about the blogger conference I attended last week. I'm not ready to report yet. It's all floating around in my head and I can't seem to figure out how to get all my thoughts organized. Is there a statute of limitations on this kind of thing? It might be July before I get it all figured out. I can't even promise that it'll be worth the wait though.

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My mission president's wife passed away on Tuesday. I attended her funeral yesterday with my mission buddy, Rachelle (but I still call her Sister Waite...even though she's married now and I really should just call her by her first name since we've both been home from the mission for 15 years). I cried my way through three kleenexes. I knew I should have brought a hanky instead.

I'm glad I got to sit by another mission buddy who reminded me of the time that we told some other sister missionaries that we knew how to sing "As I Have Loved You" in Navajo. We didn't really though. All we did was sing it in Spanish but leave off all the consonants. That takes talent, people. It was fun to remember that and giggle a little bit before the funeral started.

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I wish there were fireflies in Utah. I feel like my kids are missing out.

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I woke up at 5:00 this morning scratching a mosquito bite with my toenails (because the bite is on my ankle). I couldn't stop and couldn't go back to sleep so I got up to go to the bathroom. I wiped a blob of cortizone cream on the bite. Then I wondered if that's what I should have used so I read the directions. That meant that I had to turn the light on and that hurt my eyes and made me more awake. I don't know what time I finally went back to sleep. I couldn't scratch anymore because now there was ointment all over the bite. It still itched though. All the itchy feelings seemed to spread to other places on my body and I was suddenly wanting to scratch everywhere. I know that I eventually fell asleep because I was rudely awoken a little before 7:00. Someone had let Danny out of his room. That's a no no. And now the mosquito bite is itchy again.

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Cate and I were goofing around with Photo Booth on my computer last week. She didn't like this one at the time. I don't either. Check out my quadruple chins. I showed the picture to her again today. I pointed to that little hairy blob on my pillow and said, "Who's that?" She said, "Hair."

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My friend Marion wrote about a cool gadget on her blog this week. It keeps track of how much you eat and sleep and move and lots of other stuff. I would have loved to have one of those right after Danny was born. It would probably be pretty depressing to see how much time I spent not sleeping and not moving (because of the feeding and then not wanting to move because if I did he'd wake up) with that darling little newborn of mine.

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I think my cat, Mr. McScratchington (otherwise known as Scratchy), has super powers. Almost every night, within one minute of Dan and I getting settled in bed, Scratchy scratches on the back door to be let in. It's amazing. How does he know? Better yet, why don't we just check the back door one minute before getting into bed? I don't know the answer to either of those questions. I do know that I'm pretty sure Scratchy has super powers.

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I found two new flavors of M&M's for Dan's mom to try. Any guesses what flavor's in this bag?

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Dan asked Danny how preschool was on Thursday. He asked him if it was fun. Of course, Danny said it was not fun. Then he added, "Some of it was fun. Most of it was not fun." Kind of reminds me of the conversation I used to have with my dad at the end of almost every school day. How was school today? Fine. What'd you learn? Nothin'. That exact exchange of words, every day, for years.

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Cate has been singing a lot lately. Dan's been teaching her the Sunbeam song. I've been teaching her the Happy Family song. I'm pretty sure that she's been combining the two. Here's how it goes: Uh Daddy....Uh Mommy....Uh Danny....Uh me....BEAM! I love love love love love it! (And yes, this past week she learned how to say Danny and Mommy...instead of calling him Daddy and me Mama.)

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Cate plays Star Wars with Danny now. He gives her the red light saber usually. She smacks it against his saber. Then she turns around in a circle and smacks his again. Then she turns around in a circle again and smacks sabers. I'm pretty sure she learned the turn around thing from watching Dan play Star Wars. He's got some fancy moves. After she's smacked sabers a few times, she drops hers, flops on the floor on her belly and says, "I die." Lovely, huh? If anyone is still trying to figure out what to get her for her birthday, girlie stuff would be appreciated. Lots and lots of girlie stuff.

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Cate saw me in my apron one day and wanted to wear one too. I pulled out this one that Grandma used to wear. She loved it (Cate did...maybe Grandma did too). Another birthday gift idea for Cate: a Cate-sized apron. If I knew how to sew I'd be right on top of that one.

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I found a pink sippy cup that has been missing for weeks, maybe months. It was under Cate's carseat. I have no idea how we've managed to ride in the car all this time and not smell it.

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I'm excited for the new season of Top Chef to start on June 16th. I've been watching Top Chef Masters but it's just not the same. I wanted to buy this onesie for Cate when she was a baby. I didn't though. That might have been taking my obsession with the show a little too far.

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There's a kid in Danny's preschool class named Matisyn. She's never going to find a keychain with her name on it when she goes on band trips to Panama City Beach. Don't her parents know that?

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I really want to bake some of these cookies (or someone else could bake them for me and just let me eat half of one). I'd also like a muffin top pan to bake them in (that's a big hint hint for anyone still wondering what to get me for my birthday...you've got less than 2 weeks). And by the way, the Amanda mentioned in the post about the cookies is from Auburn, just like me. War Eagle!

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I took Cate to McDonald's this afternoon. The lady at the register actually spelled my name correctly, unlike last time. And Cate spilled chocolate milk all over her shirt, just seconds after I told her to be careful and not spill it.

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I drove the truck around town for two days this week without the new '11 sticker on the license plate. I had the temporary registration papers printed off the computer but I was still worried I'd be pulled over. And with my luck, I would have been pulled over when I had 4 kids in there with me, one or more of them thirsty, tired, grouchy and/or begging for McDonald's. It didn't happen. Thank goodness.

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I watched the National Spelling Bee while I was at the gym last night. I forgot my headphones so I couldn't even listen to it, just watch. One of the contestants was 11. If she had won, she would have been the youngest winner since 1942. I was actually watching when she missed her word. My favorite spelling bee moment happened back in the summer of '08. I remember watching it live. Go see for yourself. It's good for a laugh. Yes, a laugh. At the National Spelling Bee. Trust me.

I'm hoping...

that today turns out to be a better day than yesterday. Yesterday was not good.

that Danny decides to make today the day that pooping on the potty is no longer one of his issues.

that Cate decides to make today the day that she plays happily with Danny or by herself instead of clinging to my legs.

that the rain will go away.

that these little kids of mine can go outside to play.

that I do less laundry than I did yesterday.

that nobody asks me to anything for them today.

that I can figure out how to go to the grocery store alone.

that I can enjoy my morning oatmeal without the raisins (since I haven't figured out how to go to the grocery store alone yet this week and we're out of raisins).

that the floors will vacuum themselves.

that the dishes will wash themselves.

that the bathroom will clean itself.

that my bed will make itself.

that the parents of my newest nephew will post some new pictures of him on their blog today.

that my oldest nephew will have a great first day of his mission.

that Danny will not fall asleep at 4:30 and sleep for 2 hours like he did yesterday.

that bedtime for him tonight will be way before 10:30.

that he will learn that waking up before 7:00 the morning after he went to bed at 10:30 the night before is not ok.

that I can take a shower before 5:00 in the evening.

that I can find some time to exercise.

that the sun will shine.

that a rainbow will appear.

that I can find the end of that rainbow and catch my very first leprechaun.

that I can make him give me his pot of gold (because I could really use a pot of gold right now).

that I can be happy.


A girl can dream, right?

Now I feel like eating Lucky Charms for breakfast. They're magically delicious.

potpourri

There's been a dead tree branch stuck in the tree in the backyard for quite a while. Like months and months. It's really been bugging me. The tree trimming guy who came last summer couldn't even get it down.

Thanks to the gusts of wind a few nights ago, that dead branch is now out of the tree! It's the small things that make me happy sometimes.


I think I'm feeling sympathy nesting for the pregnant ladies in my family. Either that or I'm bored of the decor (or lack thereof) in my house. I am not pregnant. Don't even ask. It's sympathy nesting.

I bought some spray paint a few weeks ago. When I bought it (at Walmart), the register let out a long beep and asked the cashier to make sure that I was over 18 (because of all the hoodlums and their graffiti). I told her I was. She said, "Are you sure?" Wow! I'm twice that, lady. I have a three-year-old with me. Should I feel flattered that she thinks I look half my age? Or is she just a bad judge of age? The lady in front of me bought a pack of cigarettes. The register asked if she was under 40. I have no idea why it picked that age in relation to cigarettes. The cashier asked to see the lady's drivers license. That lady had gray hair and was obviously (at least to me) over 40.

I want to buy these baby legs for Cate. She's one fourth Canadian after all.

Danny asks to go to Target to look at the Star Wars legos almost every day. It's getting old.

I'm thinking about making some motherlode cookie bars. I'm worried I'd eat too many though. Could someone else make them and just bring me a tiny square to taste?

Cate likes to use glue sticks as if they were chapstick. She has to be heavily supervised during arts and crafts time.

Thanks to Forty by Forty, I am now only 2 pounds away from weighing what my drivers license says I weigh. Two pounds over, that is. Am I the only one who lies about their weight on their license? If the policeman pulls me over and I happened to put my actual weight on it, he'll see it and laugh at me, right? That's what I thought. That's why I lie.

Kris told me the other day that he's a hard guy. That means he doesn't get hurt much. According to him, Jarrett is a soft guy. He gets hurt more easily.

Google search results led someone to this here blog on Monday as a result of entering these key words in the search box: "lady just ate whole row cookies." Huh? I kept clicking through the results to find out which post had anything to do with eating a "whole row cookies." I got to page 10 and just gave up. I have no idea what that's all about. If I was the lady who "ate whole row cookies" I would never admit it in writing.

I think Cate said her first sentence yesterday. I can't even remember what I was doing when she said it though. She said, "No no, Mama." Does that count? I say it does. She does say no no no no no about lots of things though.

I am dragging my husband and kids (kicking and screaming) to my mission reunion tomorrow night. I've been home for 14 years and I've only attended two reunions. Wish me luck. And the kicking and screaming was referring to my husband. My kids don't know what they're getting into.

I just remembered I have to bring "finger food" to the mission reunion. Maybe I'll make the motherlode cookie bars.

I'm starting to wonder if my son is ever going to just tell me when he needs to go Number Two. Will I always have to watch for the signs (strained look on his face, squeezing his bum cheeks) and then rush him to the toilet? Please say I won't.

I let Danny take a few pictures with my camera while I was getting ready for a meeting a few nights ago. He thought this one of Mama Cat was pretty cool because he could see all her teeth.


He liked this one he took of Baby Cat because he could see her tongue.



And he told me I look booo-ti-ful in this one.


That's a compliment from a kid who usually says that guh-wuls (girls) are dose (gross). Like almost every night when we make him give his little sister a kiss and a hug good night. It's as if we're asking him to lick the trashcan or something.

Kris likes to watch Tom and Jerry and Scooby Doo.

Danny can now sing the Star Wars theme music, in addition to "The Imperial March." I'm so proud.

I might make some chocolate chip cookie dough truffles for the reunion instead of the cookie bars. They seem like less work. And bite-sized. I like bite-sized.

We saw a big group of kids (and a few adults) walking down the sidewalk yesterday morning in the blowing snow. They were headed away from the elementary school. I figured they were going on a fieldtrip, maybe to the museum on Center Street. Danny asked me if they were in a parade. I told him they were just walking somewhere. He insisted they were "making" a parade.

And finally, Dan has off work today, tomorrow and Monday for spring break. Woohoo! Panama City Beach, here we come!

for the next baby boy

I'm wishing I had a baby boy right now.

Not so I can start wearing nursing bras again.
Not so I can lug around a ginormous diaper bag.
Not so I can change more diapers than I already do.
Not so I can be up all hours of the night for feedings.
Not so I can be the sleep deprived zombie version of myself again.
Not so I can listen to more crying in the wee hours of the morning.
Not so I can start using burp rags for something other than dusting.

Here's why.

So I can see how precious he'd look in this t-shirt.

No baby boy for me right now.

Maybe I'll gift it to a sister-in-law if it's four in a row.
Maybe to a sister if it's three in a row.
We'll have to wait and see.

In the meantime, get your own here.
(the t-shirt, not a baby)

p.s. I am in no way a fan of the books or the movies.
I want to make that perfectly clear.
I just think the shirt is terribly clever and oh so precious.

p.p.s. If you happen to see Jarrett or Kris, don't tell them.
It's still a secret. Don't tell Danny either.
I don't want to be the one to have to answer the
"but how did the baby get in there?" question.
They're saving that privilege for Grama Bama!

Christmas shopping at 35,000 feet

Last night Dan finally told me what he wants for Christmas this year.

a little girl who knows how to walk
(like a good little seventeen-month-old)
and
a little boy who takes care of business on the potty
(like a good little three-year-old)

I know he thinks I'm amazing, but I'm no miracle worker.

I did find some possible gifts for him while I was browsing through the Sky Mall catalog on a recent flight.
(I was bored and the Harry Potter movie was not holding my attention.)

Here are the top contenders:


Dog Ate My Lesson Plan Shirt

because his junior high kids really don't respect him enough as it is

Rock Lamp

because you can't go wrong with a little mood lighting stuck on top of Appalachian stone

Lighted Candy Cane Arch

because I just know he wishes I would do more holiday decorating

Relaxing Magic Showerhead

because some people have to shower in the dark of the morning

Tranquil Sounds Oxygen Bar

because sometimes breathing regular old air just isn't very relaxing

Portable Microwave Oven

because his commute might be getting longer when the snow comes and he might get hungry

Forest Faces

because they're adorable and not the least bit creepy

Remote Controlled Tarantula

because who wouldn't want a remote controlled tarantula?

The Telekenetic Obstacle Course

because if anyone can harness the powers of his mind to move a little plastic ball, it's Dan


And while I'm at it, a little something for myself.

All this browsing around the Sky Mall got me thinking.

Do you suppose they know they're in the business of selling expensive white elephant gifts?
C'mon, people. A Telekenetic Obstacle Course? Really?

Who is buying this stuff?

(besides me, of course)

If you'd like to do a little Christmas shopping at a much lower elevation,
and you didn't swipe the copy of the catalog from the pocket on the seat in front of you,
check out their website.

'Tis the season for white elephant gifts, right?

Dear Santa

Is it too soon to send in my requests to the Big Guy up North?

I hope not because here I go.
(He reads this blog, of course.)
for me

i really really want this phone
i really want this phone
i want this phone
i want phone
i want
iphone


for Cate

The Big Guy can get it at Costco...
if he's a member and has an American Express card.

also for Cate
(just the chef's hat and apron, not the little girl)

And just in case the elves don't know how to sew,
the Big Guy who sleeps next to me can go here to get it.

for Danny

He can wear it while he's showing off all his
cool
cool
cool
tricks.
Yeah!

Find it here.
I like the blue, but any color will do.

for Dan

I don't know.
He's so hard to shop for.
Maybe some new brown socks?


for our family

I wouldn't be sad if the keys to this little beauty were under my tree this year.
This one might actually be for me, but I'm sure I'd share it with everyone else.

I'd like it in black, but any color will do.

Thanks, Santa.
You're the best.

tees and a tote

I think I found Grama Bama's next birthday present.

I love it!
I can show it on here even though she reads this (and is my biggest fan even though she doesn't know how to leave a comment). She'll probably forget all about the tote by the time her birthday rolls around in October.

It also comes in a t-shirt.
I'm thinking about getting that one for me, Danny and Cate to wear next July 1st.


Here's a few of my other favorites.

Who doesn't love a good game of Rock-Paper-Scissors?

Peas and Love...love it.

That's another one for me...or my friend Michelle.

I love sporks. They remind me of lunch in elementary school.

This is another one for me.


And I wish I had found this one for Dan when he was in charge of the math team at his old school. He's so mathletic.

I found these lovely t-shirts here.
Browse at your own risk.
Some of them are not rated G.
You've been warned.

hushabye

I love the movie "Walk the Line."
I don't know why.
I just do.

I don't think I would have ever recognized a Johnny Cash song before I saw it. After seeing the movie, we bought a Johnny Cash CD. Dan bought the DVD for me.

Now I think I need this.

I can't help but smile when I think of my baby falling asleep to the tune of "Folsom Prison Blues" being plunked out on a xylophone with tinkling bells in the background.

It's enough to make me want to cry, cry, cry.

gift ideas

If there happen to be any grandparents reading this
(or cousins, aunts, uncles, great uncles, dads)

and

if those grandparents (or cousins, aunts, uncles, great uncles, dads) just happen to be wondering what to buy Danny for his birthday
(which is way too far away and not the best time of year for giving him a new tricycle)

or

maybe for the 4th of July
(that's a gift-giving holiday, right?)

or

possibly Canada Day
(a huge gift-giving holiday, right, Grama Bama?)

or

even Bastille Day
(is there a better way to celebrate the end of France's constitutional monarchy and the start of its democratic republic than by giving an adorable two-year-old an adorable tricycle?)

then

have I got a gift idea for you!

And

if you grandparents (or cousins, aunts, uncles, great uncles, dads)
are thinking that Cate might just feel left out if you don't get her one too,

she will.

You're in luck though.
It comes in pink.