making a fool of myself

So that whole 5k thing happened again. I'm in the big leagues now because it was my 3rd race in only a year and a half. I know. I'm practically a semi-pro at this 5k business. This race was raising money for the library. I'm happy to do that. It was also Dr. Seussy themed and I do love Dr. Seuss.

The flyer said to wear a costume and you might win a prize. I hesitated because I am not a fan of looking like a fool. I decided to just do it and boy am I glad I did. I got to look like a fool AND not win a prize. Woo hoo.

There were only 3 of us runners who dressed up. Maybe 4? I can't remember now. The guy who won was wearing a store bought Cat in the Hat costume. He put my pitiful homemade one to shame. At least I didn't make it special for the race. I wore it for Halloween when I taught preschool many years ago.



My running buddy Janell assured me that I didn't look like a fool but I know she was wrong. Just look at my shadow. I ran three point something miles with that dumb costume on. I got lots of smiles and waves from passing cars though. The problem came when I was the only runner on the block. None in front that I could see and none in back. Then the cars passing me just thought I was a big freak running around the neighborhood in a silly costume.

I felt like such a goober.



I ran that whole thing with that stupid black tail in my hand for crying out loud. Sheesh. That is not my time on the clock there. I finished in under 30 minutes (just barely but it still counts!). The guy that won it finished in under 17 minutes. I don't even know what to say. I am not a runner. I don't do this stuff for fun. I prefer to use exercise as a way of keeping myself from being a Fatty McFattington. It's not a hobby and it's not fun.

I can't even remember very many details from the race. It was on President's Day. Seems like forever ago. Obviously nobody forced me to run. It was my own crazy idea. I just wanted to see if I could do it and maybe improve my time since the last one. I did do it but I did not improve my time. Oh, well.

The whole time I was huffing and puffing along I wondered how on earth people do this for fun. How do they run marathons? Forget marathons, how do they run a 10K? I am baffled. My hat's off to you running enthusiasts.

I'll probably run again. Maybe when I'm 40. That way I'll be in the next age bracket and I stand a chance of winning a medal. At 38, I'm in the 18-39 category. How am I ever supposed to beat an 18-year-old? Totally not fair. Plus, people run 5K's for the t-shirts right? I enjoy a good t-shirt just like the next person.

Know what else I learned from that silly race? The real reason why I don't like dressing up for Halloween. I don't want people to look at me. I prefer to blend into the crowd. I'd live in a little cottage in the middle of the woods in the middle of nowhere if people would let me. Well, as long as there's electricity so I can watch my Lifetime television for women and my Real Housewives.

* * * *

After my pitifully shameful loss of the costume contest, we started to head home. That's when the little old lady (I think she works at the library) came over to me and gave me two passes to play laser tag at the bowling alley. She took pity on me and my shameful loss of the costume contest. I don't think I hid my disappointment very well and she saw me sitting there in the bleachers with a sad look on my face. That was very nice of her but I'm not sure what I'm going to do with laser tag coupons. I've got a 5-year-old and a 3-year-old. Can they even play laser tag? I gave the coupons to Aunt Judy.



And that's when Cate saw the bouncy house contraptions in the gym next door. She asked if we could go in and I told her it would cost extra money (mostly because I was really tired and kind of just wanted to go home and rest my aching bones). That kind old lady overheard me and said, "Oh, no! It's free! You can go in there!!" Yay. Thanks, Old Lady. So in we went.




The kids had fun. They bounced and jumped and had their faces painted (with marker, not paint...weird). We left after a bit. I rested. A celebratory lunch was eaten at Cocolito's where Danny asked me, "Why does salsa look gross but it's not gross?" That kid's a thinker, I tell you.

Back at home, Cate fell asleep for 3 hours and woke up at 7:00 pm. PM! I sure don't love it when that happens.

And to end the day, Danny climbed into my bed with me and told me that I'm the only girl he'll ever love.

the end.