chapter six: bugs and lemonade

When we got back from the country on Sunday, Danny took a big honkin' nap. He fell asleep in the car and didn't wake when we brought him inside. His afternoon nap ended at 8:00 pm. Lovely. He was still awake at 3:00 Monday morning. Oh, vacationing with the little people. How I love it so!

Cate stayed up way too late on Sunday too. At one point I was in bed asleep and she brought me a plastic tea cup filled with water. That's a fun way to be woken up. She asked me if I wanted a drink. I asked her where she got the water. Her reply, "From the white thing." My first thought was that she fished out some water from the toilet. Gross, but I wouldn't put it past her. It's water that she can reach. I'm not sure if she can turn on Grama Bama's faucets.

I asked her which white thing, the sink or the toilet. To my relief she said sink. Then I made her dump out the water and get back in bed. Good times.

Monday morning we took a little drive with Grandpa up to his office on campus.



There's lots of bugs to look at in Grandpa's office.

Ginormous cockroaches.



We got to watch Grandpa feed them some carrot slices.

Nobody wanted to pet the cockroaches. Thank goodness.



Grandpa brought out more bugs for us to look at. Dead ones this time.



Guess who got 100% on her bug collection in 7th grade science.

That would be me.

I helped my dad catch all the bugs. He didn't just give me ones he already had. Honest. He mostly did all the pinning and labeling though. He did make me look up in the book and figure out the bug names. Then he typed the names for the teeny tiny labels. Oh, mine was a beautiful bug collection. I almost wish I'd saved it. Or at least taken a picture of it.

I hope Grandpa is somewhere close by when my kids have bug collections to turn in.



Danny posed on the front steps of Grandpa's building. He's such a good sport. He even smiled for me.



We left Grandpa with his bugs and took a walk up the street. It was hot. It was humid. Really really humid. Oh, and it was closing in on lunch time. All that added up to a few tired and grouchy people on that short walk. Next time we visit it will not be in the summer.

Dan got a good workout lugging Cate up the road. I can't remember now (since this trip happened almost two months ago) but I probably toted Danny on my hip the whole way.

Dan and Cate posed in front of Samford Hall.



A little posing with me and the kids in front of the sign.

Guess who was the tiredest and grouchiest.

Not me this time.



A little Heisman pose by Dan.

Poor little Cate.



We walked a little further up the road to pose in front of the sad, dying oak tree.

That's why Danny and Dan are making sad faces. I'm not sure what Cate's doing.



We crossed the street for some much needed lemonade and air conditioning!



I love Cate's sour face reaction to the lemonade.



It was yummy lemonade. I should know. I ended up drinking most of it because they thought it was sour...even after we dumped sugar in it.



We sat on the bench outside to wait for Grandpa to pick us up. I told Dan to take a picture of me and Cate. I had no idea that huge mural was behind us though. I wondered why Dan was scooted so far back. Now I know.



A little closer and you can tell that lemonade is still sour.



Yikes. Too close.



It was a fun morning.

Cate had so much fun she decided to start looking for a place to stay there permanently.




p.s. You can buy a scarf that looks like a roll of toilet paper. If that seems weird to you, you're probably not from Auburn. If that's the case, read this and then you'll be in the know.

Partying with Rednecks, Y'all

I survived our cruise to the Redneck Riviera. I almost didn't think I would. Not because I get seasick (because it wasn't really a cruise on a boat, just a dinner for the old folks at church) and not because I don't love rednecks (I married the most handsome mullet man ever so of course I love him and his people) and not because I don't like eating at the buffet (which I actually abhor but this was a sit down dinner, no sidling up to the trough looking like a pig).

It's because I am not a party planner. I don't enjoy it. I'm not good at it. It stresses me out beyond words. I'd say I hate it but hate is such a strong word. I just really really don't like it.

The good thing about the redneck theme is that you don't have to have things looking super classy. Pretty much the opposite (no offense to any rednecks or their relatives who might be reading this).

Here's the table decor we came up with.



Fake flowers in old Coke bottles (that I found in my grandma's garage cupboards) sitting atop lovely paper doilies.

All different colored cheap plastic table cloths. A differnt color for each table. (I meant to spell that wrong. Say it out loud. Differnt.)

Mismatched napkins and plastic silverware. Plasticware?

Mason jars with straws.

And beans.

The beans were for the markers for the bingo game. Debra thought they'd look lovely as part of the decor too. I think she was right.

If we'd wanted to be super redneck klassy we would have decorated around the room with toilet seats and old tires. So little time, so many great ideas.



The menfolk looked mighty fine.



And these girls too. I love the Chevron shirt. It reads, "I have gas." Very redneck indeed.



Some of our lovely cruise guests (sounds nicer than calling them old folks). The lady on the left used to babysit my dad. She also remembers the day my grandpa came home from the war. She told me she was standing on the sidewalk watching up the road where he came walking from the bus stop. Isn't that pretty neato?

And that other lovely lady. She went to school with my dad. Same graduating class.



And this sweet gal is my neighbor. The neighbor I've told you about. I've got a special treat to give her on Friday before the football game.



Two lovebirds ready for a romantic cruise. Heehee.

They might kill me if they knew their picture was on the world wide web. Don't tell. Maybe they don't use the internet yet. That's my hope.



More cruisers willing to play along.



Instead of telling them to say cheese before I snapped their picture I told them to say Hee Haw! That's why their mouths look funny. It's not because they don't know how to smile.

You can look here and here and here for pictures of that handsome fellow when he was a kid. He was my dad's childhood friend and neighbor and my grandma took about a bazillion pictures of them together.



Here's a shot of me and my ladies. They did most of the work. I just showed up and looked purty. I think I could get used to having so much hair.



After the photos, Dan lead the group in a few rousing hands of bingo. We figured maybe that was something old folks do on cruises so it seemed appropriate.

They seemed to have fun. Here's a few of the prizes.



Genuine Louisiana Surprise chicken wing sauce and a lovely bottle of eau de toilette. Decorated with redneck ribbon (you know, shoelaces). Other prizes included cans of Vienna sausages and glamorous press on nails (red ones with white lacy detail, so klassy). I tried to find cans of spray cheese at the dollar store but to no avail. I think that would have made a good prize for redneck bingo. Maybe next time.

After bingo and dinner (bbq pork, potato salad and baked beans) the cruisers were treated to some live entertainment. What's a cruise without entertainment?



Those gals seated in the lawn chairs are the Soggy Bottom Spoon Sisters (named such because they're pros at playin' the spoons). Dan played the ukulele (not very redneck at all but he doesn't own a banjo) while we all sang a little bit of The Crawdad Song and Where, Oh Where are You Tonight?. Mostly we just sang the chorus to that one.



And Dan made the audience sing along too.



We took turns telling hee haw style jokes (that Dan wrote for us). The jug band performed a little rendition of Gloom, Despair and Agony on Me. We got to join in on the chorus. Such a treat.



I think the audience liked it.



I tell you what. I'm looking like quite the freak in most of the pictures on stage. I don't know what came over me. I just really got into it. I might have been singing the loudest (well, after Dan of course). I knew the youth would be reluctant to give it their all so I guess I was overcompensating. I don't know.

Maybe the big hair gave me a confidence I didn't know I possessed.

Maybe it was just my redneck roots oozing out of me.

It was fun.

I'm glad it's done.

back in the saddle again

Oh, hello there.

Did you miss us?

Don't answer that unless it's with a resounding YES! because I don't think my fragile ego can handle any other answer.

You know how when you stop exercising it becomes easier and easier to not exercise?

Same goes for blogging (at least for me). That same rule, however, does not apply to eating chocolate. That never gets easy to not do.

I'd like to say we've been so busy soaking up the last warm rays of summer-like sunshine that I haven't had time to take pictures and share all our comings and goings and deep thoughts about life with you.

But that's not true.

And it's not my style to talk about soaking up sun or savoring the warmth or sharing deep thoughts.

Truth is this we do stuff and sometimes I take pictures. Most days nobody naps. Some days the kids go to preschool and instead of coming home and sitting around blogging and uploading pictures, I go to the store. Alone. All by myself. And I buy stuff without anyone asking me for cookies or powdered donuts or purple sugary juice. It's lovely (the solo grocery store trips, not the juice).

Other days I do church stuff or clean stuff or bake stuff (because that's what I like to do and if I don't do something that I like to do once in a while I go crazy). So yeah. This old blog hasn't been numero uno lately. I kind of feel badly about it.

You know what else, the only soaking up I did last week was while I cleaned Danny's puke off his bedroom carpet. Oh, that was fun. He puked some time during the night but didn't say a word to us about it.

Do you mind if I share a funny thing he said about his diarrhea? (I haven't talked about puke and poop for a while on here so I think I'm long overdue.) He made it to the toilet just in time. When the deed was done he said, "Whoa! That was like a volcano!" Pretty disgusting but I just had to chuckle. I love that kid. He's the most pleasant sick kid. His sister on the other hand, yikes.

So that's it. We're still here. Doing stuff. Getting sick. Feeling better.

And having play dates with Olivia the pirate, the button-eyed girl and their giant pink pumpkin.

So fun.

wrapping up summer and stuffing it in the closet

I know summer isn't officially over yet but close enough. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I don't like summer. I can't tell you how happy it makes me to go outside in the morning and hear my kids say, "Brrrrrrr, it's freeeeeezing out here!" Sure, it's like 60 degrees but still. I love it.

So here's my last hoorah to summer. Some pictures I haven't shared. Stories I haven't told. Stuff we did. And after this I'm stuffing summer in the closet and hoping it doesn't show up too early next year.


The garden: Planted entirely by Dan and the kids. Our first garden. I've thoroughly enjoyed my pear tomatoes. Maybe I can convince Danny to eat some next year. He won't touch any of the tomatoes. He says they're dirty. Even after I wash them. He's been very aware of germs lately. Good thing I didn't show him the grasshopper poo.

Visits with Grama Bama: She came out twice this summer. And we spent time at her house too. She's a good grandma and we sure do miss her. Danny keeps asking when we can take a hike to her house. I keep telling him never but that doesn't seem to satisfy him.

The ice cream man: The kids go nuts when they hear that guy. When Grama Bama's here she whips out her wallet and everyone's happy.

Turning 38: I'm an even number again! Even better than that, I got to share my birthday with Dan this year. Even better than that, I got to wear a sweater on my special day. A sweater in the middle of June. I couldn't have asked for a better gift. It was lovely.



The wasted Nutella: I made the mistake of introducing Cate to Nutella. I spread some on a graham cracker and she ended up getting more on her face than in it. Next time I'll just spoon feed her. I was almost tempted to lick her face to not let that precious stuff go to waste.

The Great Purge of 2011: I started cleaning out drawers and cupboards in the kitchen. There's just too much stuff and I was feeling the urge to purge. Isn't this cheese grater just lovely? It got to stay based on looks alone. I've never used it.

The babies: I'm not sure who those are, maybe Kissa and Pissa. Or possibly Idda and Poopa. Who knows? Cate spent a lot of time mothering her babies this summer. It's adorable. I think her undies are a little too big for them still.

Turning 3: Yep, my baby's 3. It's good. She's happy about it and so am I. And I got away with not having a princess party. Hooray!



4th of July: Don't you love it when people take pictures of their toes? Me too. When you've got toes as lovely as mine it's hard not to. We spent two nights in a hotel and enjoyed the festivities with grandmas and cousins. My pedi got ruined from dragging my feet along the bottom of the hotel pool. One day my kids are going to swim all by themselves and I get to just sit on the side and watch right? I'm going to remain hopeful.

The dinosaurs: We've thoroughly enjoyed the family pass I won to Thanksgiving Point. Thoroughly. The museum is my favorite because it's cool inside when it's so blasted hot out. I told Cate to get on that rock so I could take her picture. The pose was all her idea. I kid you not.

More dinosaurs: Again, no coaching from me on the pose. I just told them to stand there so I could take a picture. Who are these kids? I think they need to be in an acting class.

Splish splash: I know we're all tired of seeing pictures of kids at the splash pad but come on. Look at that view. Those mountains are majestic. Plus, something free to do on a hot day. You can't beat that. And no swimsuit or ruining pedis for me. We all win.



Children's garden: A different park. I told Cate to not get too close. She didn't listen and ended up with a face full of water. She recovered and then we played and strolled around the gardens.



Road trip: I'm pretty sure I had the best seat for that whole trip. I only had to take care of Danny. He was easy because he played Angry Birds hour after hour. I actually got to read books and close my eyes and rest a few times. It was a real treat. Grama Bama got to cater to Cate's every need.

Happy kids: Running around half naked in the rain. Smiling.

Family pictures: Thanks to the lovely Christie. She makes us look good (just wish she could make me look about 15 pounds lighter). We met her at the Garden Park Ward in Salt Lake. The grounds were beautiful. And it's free! You can't beat that. Grama Bama came along and I'm so glad she did. Without her dancing around and acting silly behind the camera we wouldn't have gotten such great smiles from the kids. I just wish we could have gotten a picture of her shenanigans.



Speaking of stuffing things into closets, remember that picture I shared of my hideous closet? I cleaned it. And another one. Here's the pile o' crud from two closets.

And here's the after of one of them:



If anybody wants help cleaning a closet or two, I'll do it. I actually enjoy it.

Here's the label that my Grandma had pinned to the closet door. Looks like back in her day there were three large boxes in that closet. I can't bring myself to take that label down. I like it.



Finding stuff when you clean out closets is kind of fun.

Anybody want a vintage Karl Malone poster? You gotta love The Mailman.



And who doesn't love a big foam cougar paw? It's appropriate for today I guess.



Go Cougars and goodbye summer!

what might've been

...if I'd stayed in Alabama after high school graduation, moved to Lochapoka and started serving grits and scrambled eggs for breakfast at Bubba's Diner.

I coulda had the cutest little mullet boy ever.

game on, lady!

Well, lookee here what my neighbor brought over on Saturday. Ain't she sweet? She brought us a little snack to eat during the football game.

I took one look at that red bow and her carefully cut out newspaper clippings and thought, "Game on, lady! Game on!"

She doesn't know who she's messin' with.

When I saw her later in the day and thanked her for the cookies, she had a little smirk on her lips and a twinkle in her eye. Oh, she thought she'd one-upped me. She thinks she's so clever. You know what she's done? She's given me just what I need to get through this college football season. A reason to bake and decorate with blue and white clear until December.

Oh, my creative wheels are a turnin' and I can't wait. I told her Saturday's my turn. I'm thinking I'll make the Jimmer cakes again. She and her loved ones can be snacking on blue velvet cake during the big game (and those blue velvet cakes will probably turn their lips and tongues blue but don't tell her that). I just hope she doesn't feed them to the dog instead. I don't know what such a huge amount of blue food coloring does to their innards (or what comes out of their innards).

I'm unofficially naming this the BYU vs. Utah Bake Off of 2011. She doesn't know what she's started. Well, I guess I started it with the cougar cookies I gave her a few weeks ago. But she's moved it along to what it's now become in my mind. The Bake Off of champions.

The dumb thing about it is that our teams are actually playing each other on Saturday. We're playing our biggest rivals on the third game of the season. Dumb. I feel like there's nothing to work up to now. You know, start with cookies, move to cupcakes, then bring out the big guns. Triple layer fondant covered blue and white wedding cake kind of BIG. That might have been a bit much so I'll just go with the blue velvet cupcakes and see where the season takes me.

I've never been so excited for football Saturdays!

And as much as I'd like to say that her Ute cookies were yucky, they weren't. The best way to eat oatmeal and raisins is in the shape of a cookie. She's a formidable contender. This is going to be fun!

The other thought I had when I saw that package of goodies with the red bow (right after thinking Game on, lady! Game on!) was this scene from The Cosby Show. Now, if you're too young to remember watching The Cosby Show, I feel very sorry for you. You missed out on some excellent television.

Just clicky here to watch it. I dare you to watch that without smiling and possibly even laughing out loud like I did. And I don't easily laugh out loud.

Chaaaallonge, dear neighbor. Chaaaallonge!

let sleeping dogs lie

When there are

three kids and
a quiet house
and you're
busy washing dishes
or folding laundry
or some such housewifey duty,
don't get the nonsense idea to go check on anybody.
They're probably fine.
If you do go check,
good grief, don't let them see you
(even though you can't resist taking a picture
since this kind of quiet playing nicely together
doesn't happen every day).
Just snap the picture and get outta there quick like!

picture above taken at 11:17:22 a.m.
picture below, exactly 11 seconds later
He's trying to climb up my leg.
If he could talk he'd say
HOLD ME! HOLD ME! HOLD ME!

Way to ruin a perfectly good super quiet cousins playing nicely together situation.
Next time, let sleeping dogs lie.
Or just let the happy kids play.
Or get a quieter camera.